Foreword
Mostly in every man, there’s only one woman that captures the entirety of his existence… his own mother. Hence, it is only but fitting and proper that I begin my story by giving tribute to her.
To the woman who gave life to me, I salute and praise you for doing the most important job of all time. For me, you already have done more than enough. It’s time that I’ll try to give something back in any way I can to show you my indebtedness and for you to be proud of me.
I know that some of you are familiar with the title. In fact, I was inspired by that song that’s why I wrote this. Before I croon over with its melody that has been humming again and again in my mind, allow me first to express my greatest appreciation and gratitude to all the ladies who touched my heart. Thank you and I wish you all well.
Getting on with the purpose of this story, I will try to recall several years and quite a few ladies of my life. Some of them had been my significant other and some had been my muse and inspiration. I hope I won’t be able to miss anyone important. And due to the present private and quiet lives of these women involved, I will not reveal their names.
One more thing, March 8 of every year marks the international celebration of women’s day and this is my tribute in observance of that yearly event.
Girl Friends & Sisters
I grew up with two sisters and I was the only son. This is one reason why I have a lot of girl friends and I felt comfortable of having a girl best friend. In this way, I get to know more about women and was able to see the world in a woman’s perspective.
Having two sisters was a great childhood. I remember that I don’t have any competition with material things. I have the opportunity to eat more during dining out in the restaurant. Every time my sisters were scolded especially on the subject of going home late, party, night outs and dating, they will always associate the issue about me of doing the same things. But I would always evade the sermon because I live up to the saying, “let your sibling be because he is a boy (pasagdi-a lang na inyong igso-on kay lalaki man siya / hayaan nyo na ang kapatid nyo kasi lalaki yan)”. Those are the perks of being the only son.
When we were growing up, we depended on each other to live in Metro Davao while our parents were in the province tending their livelihood. When one of us got sick, we were always there to take care of one another. We grew up together and learned to be independent and responsible. When I was a kid, I always wanted to have a brother so that I would know how it feels like to have one. But that was only for the sake of wishing and wanting. In truth, I would not want it any other way. If P-Noy has her four witches in his life, I have my own Hermione Grangers: sisters and best friends for life.
During my high school and even in my college years, many of my closest friends are girls. Because of our closeness, some of them had developed a deeper feeling towards me. I don’t disregard that despite their assertion that I was the most insensitive guy they knew of. In fact, I was well aware of it and respected their emotions. I may have felt differently towards them but I know it’s for the best. I would not want to mess it up and ruin the friendship. It was part of growing up and in time we outgrew this episode and realized that the bond of friendship was what kept us together through the years.
To all my girl friends old and new (you know who you are); I am thankful and happy to have known all of you. You have all added some more colors and tinge into my life. You were all like my sisters from a different mother.
I would also like to take this opportunity to acknowledge the two women who had been a good mentor and a second mother to me. To Isabel, my former boss, you had taught me the value of perseverance and work attitude. To Maya, my ever dearest nanny, you showed me the essence of hard work and loyalty. In memoriam of them, may they rest in eternal peace.
Puppy Love
When I was in first year high school, I had a crush on one of my classmates. At this stage, girls matured ahead of us boys socially, mentally and physically. I’ll call her Lady PM. She was tall and I was short way back then. She’s quite a charm and I was easily captivated. I always looked up at her literally, and admired her intelligence and beauty. During this time, we boys behaved childishly than girls. We always tease our female classmates until one of them cracks and started crying.
I on the other hand, only teased one particular girl, and that’s Lady PM. I did it to get her attention and finally, I got her right to notice me. Who could have thought that she too had a crush on me? I was thrilled to know this but I was also too young back then so I didn’t do anything about it. Besides, I didn’t have any idea how to court girls. So we remained as classmates and friends. In time, she transferred to another school and that was it. I thank her now for being part of my cutest memory.
On my second year, I got a crush on another girl from a different section. She’s Lady DL. She was very simple and had an alluring smile that struck me. I always went to the neighboring classroom just to have a chat with her so that I could see her every day. Still, I didn’t do anything because I was naïve and inexperienced when it comes to courtship. I just let the exciting feelings of having a crush enshroud me.
They were my so-called puppy love. One’s life could not be complete if we don’t surpass this first stage of adolescence. I would also like to mention my crushes during my elementary days. But due to my limited brain power, I can only divulge an eighteen years span of my memory.
Dream Girl
If I were to be asked who my dream girl was, aside from Angel Locsin, my answer would be Lady D. I met her when I was in third year high school. She was also tall and luckily, I got taller this time. She was charming, pretty, smart and a real beauty queen. She joined beauty contests in our school and I was her number one fan. She was lovely and divine so I put up all my guts and courted her. This was my first time to court a girl and I don’t know if I did it right but as far as I can remember we did get along really well.
As days went by, I developed this notion or should I say a fear of rejection. To add to that, most of my peers were also rejected by their aspirations. I was worried that she will turn me down as well, and I wasn’t prepared to handle the aftermath. I chickened out so the courtship eventually died down. After a while, I realized that what I did could have been a big mistake. What if she actually liked me and it would turn out something wonderful.
But then again, who knew. I let the fear take the best of me and all I got was an unanswered question. She was my dream girl for the reason that sometimes my dreams about her would answer a lot of my questions and doubts.
"It’s not a question of how deeply you were wounded but on how you managed the pain."
Trial and Error
Still in high school and on my fourth year, I met Lady G on a social gathering. It was an event prior to JS prom. The school wanted us to socialize and learn how to behave properly on formal occasions. I immediately liked her because she was petite and appealing. I was physically attracted to her and courted her immediately. We got together on the night of our prom and I was pleased because finally I got me a girlfriend and a date.
We went out a few times and after several weeks, the flame died down and we didn’t click anymore. I suppose that because of the very short time we got to know each other, I realized that we were not compatible. I tried to have a girlfriend and based it out on the physical attraction. On a boy’s viewpoint, there was really nothing wrong with it. If truth be told, most boys at this age would fantasize dating the most beautiful & hottest girl in the campus. My mindset was that as long as she’s cute everything’s going to turn out fine.
I have learned that it won’t work as I expected one way or another. There were really no hard feelings back then. We both knew that we were young and needed to explore the world.
Almost But Not Quite
As I grew up and high school was almost over, I turned to have a different outlook now when it comes to girls. I understood a little that girls were far more complex than any mathematical equation. That’s why I dropped the idea of dating girls with good looks. Because sometimes, the outer appearance makes up for what is lacking deep within. This is true for Lady EU but I won’t be talking about her because there was really nothing interesting to share.
For this chapter, I didn’t meet a new girl. Instead, I re-discovered a girl that has been with me for almost four years now. Lady A has been my classmate and one of my best friends in high school. I knew that she had a crush on me since first year but I didn’t bother on it at first and also I could not take advantage of her. For me, she was a very dear friend and was like a sister. It took me three years to notice her in a different way.
I used to describe her as my Pocahontas hoping that I too was her John Smith. One of my fondest memories about her was when I read the poems she made just for me. I thank my other closest friend who found a way to let me read it and for always teasing us. Upon reading her poetry, I was moved by her thoughts about me. I didn’t realize that after all those years, she still cared. It was the first time that I felt something different and wonderful. Day by day and due to the constant teasing, I also developed this special feeling towards her. I had to decide to act and tell her how I felt because graduation was fast approaching and I didn’t want to regret the day that she would be clueless about my feelings.
During our farewell party, I had the perfect opportunity to go with my plan. All I needed was a lot of courage, motivation and a little nudge on the cliff. The plan took quite some time to materialize because it gave me a hard time voicing it out on her. But at last, I completed my task. I finally told her about how I felt. I wasn’t asking for anything in return I just wanted her to know. The good thing about it was it did not affect our friendship. We remained good friends until high school ended and up to the present. I never gave it a chance to complicate the situation with her. We parted ways just like Pocahontas & John Smith, and went on to pursue our own dreams.
"Love will surely find our way, knock on our hearts and let itself in."
Love Hurts
For me college life was a crossroads in which the choices that we made back then will define us today. We grow as a person and learn from the options and decisions that we have made. It is also the same principle I applied when it comes to women.
Another good friend of mine introduced me to her neighbor and her childhood friend Lady MC during her 18th birthday party. I find her striking because of the fact that I have met and known her ages ago. She was my classmate during my elementary days and I was amazed on how she has grown to be an admirable woman.
We hang out and dated a few times then I started courting her. We did get along very well easily as we shared some common past. My feelings for her were strong and I was hoping that she too would feel the same way. I was glad to know that I was also special to her. But unfortunately, it is not the way I imagined. She said that we could not go on together as a couple because she still had hang ups with her previous boyfriend. One thing I admire about her is her honesty about our situation. She let me realized that she could not reciprocate my affection because it would be unfair to both of us and it would also be foolish to continue my desires.
She was being reasonable and I completely understood her. But still, I can’t help the feeling of being hurt. Maybe I expected too much and fell in love on the idea of a perfect romance. But who am I kidding? This thing only happens in movies. Reality bites and sometimes love does really hurt. It’s not a question of how deeply you were wounded but on how you managed the pain. I thanked my friends for being around with me during that time. With a few bottles of red horse we drank to life, to love and to relationship.
Summer Affair
A few months later, second semester had ended and time for the summer vacation. I was still recuperating from being broken hearted when I met Lady J. It had been a while and I realized that it’s time to move on and start a new page. She was attractive and more matured in age than I was.
I find the idea of dating matured woman new & refreshing. It also helped in the recovery process and I knew that it will take me to a new level of relationship. I was about to turn 19 and at this stage of a young man’s life, testosterone level was sky high. The summer affair happened so fast and at most times it gave me a blast. I met a girl that was crazy about me. I was going along with the course of the summer but I wasn’t sure if I could still take on the heat.
Summer only comes once a year and cold season follows. And just like my summer affair, it had also ended in due time. It didn’t turn cold just like fall or winter season but it did end well. We became good friends and that’s what matters.
"When love let itself in inside our hearts, it never gets out. It is there to stay and teaches us how to love again."
First Love
At any point in our lives, love will surely find our way, knock on our hearts and let itself in. I always remember my first love like it was yesterday. I could still remember how it felt on the first embrace, the first kiss and even the first fight. The woman I’m talking about is Lady C.
I was with friends for a good and clean fun when I met her in a bar one Friday night. I asked her if she would like to dance with me and she said yes. I never thought that our first dance would turn magical. I started calling her and invited her to go out with me so we could get to know each other more. I went through the process of courtship and finally she said yes. Some of my friends noticed the sparkle in my eyes and the changes I’ve made. I never realized that I was already in love.
I had always been a happy-go-lucky guy until she came. Our relationship taught me new things about us and about life. Back then, it was always her and me together and nothing could separate us. I would go the extra mile to do more for her and make her happy. I learned to be responsible and I was inspired to finish my studies and set my goals. I met her family and I introduced her to mine. We were together for almost three years. It was almost perfect and we thought that we were inseparable.
When I graduated college, I tried to seek opportunities outside my hometown to begin my career. This made her sad. I was caught up between her and my ambitions. It was hard choosing between your dreams and your love. I don’t want to break her heart but I also wanted to fulfill my goals. She understood me and supported my decision to follow my dreams. I went to Manila to start my profession right after I finished college. We held on to our promise even if we’re far apart. I know how hard it was for her that I was away and in the end, she gave up on us.
I loved her very much that time and letting go was the only unselfish way to accept the fact that I could no longer be there for her. I was glad to know that she had moved on after some time. We both made a pact to be there for each other and will remain friends forever. I want her to know that I am still keeping that promise.
No Strings Attached
Being away from my family brought me to a different dimension in life. We already broke up with my first love and I had to move on and continue living. I was taken aback by the hustling and bustling life of the city. It took me a little while to adjust on my new lifestyle while working in Metro Manila.
I love my first job and I love being independent. I like being productive and self sufficient. My first job required a lot of traveling and that is one reason why I loved it in the first place. It gave me a new perspective in life. I was a yuppie and enjoyed the freedom it entails.
I encountered a lot of adventurous women during my escapade in the city, particularly Ladies X, Y, H and R. Before I delve deeper in my story, let me just say a few things to clarify the events: I dated these girls one at a time. Once, I had already done having two girlfriends at the same time and mark my words, it only equates to trouble, headache and more trouble.
I met Ladies X & Y in a bar during a different Saturday night outs. They were both college students during that time. One common trait of these two ladies is their enthusiasm on weekend night outs and parties. I had no objection to that. After all, I did get to enjoy it too. I never had dull moments with them. It was fun while it lasted. But that was the thing; it was just merely fun and excitement.
One day, I had a chance to visit a friend of mine when I met Lady H. They were neighbors in Pasay City . I instantly liked her because she was witty and full of energy. She was a single mother all the way from Mindanao . She was in Manila waiting for her visa to be approved before she could fly to Japan to give her son a better future. We dated for a couple of months until her visa was granted. I was happy for her that finally she achieved her dreams. She had her priorities that time and I didn’t want to get involved.
Lady R on the other hand was a free spirited woman who also came to the city to find her own self and to follow her dreams. She was courageous and full of hope. We were good together and everything was pleasurable. We didn’t get the chance to know each other deeper because I was transferred to Cebu . In the end, we said our goodbyes and wished each other the best of life.
While I was working in Cebu , I happened to be assigned in Ilo-ilo for a month to implement a certain project. There I met Lady Z. An acquaintance of mine gave her number and I started to contact her until we met and went out for a date. It was fruitful and interesting. Not only did I get me an instant girlfriend, she also cured me of being lonesome on another place. She knew that I was not into something serious and she was fine with it.
I worked in Cebu for a year and a half and on my third month I met Lady EL. She was eye-catching and stunning because of how she carried herself. I went again to the normal procedure of courtship and we ended together. Sometimes, you paused for a moment and began to realize and asked yourself who you want to be with for the rest of your life. I asked myself that a lot of times. It was sad that I didn’t find the answers in her. I was not ready to commit and take the plunge with her yet. I was still on the stage of testing the water if it’s too hot or too cold before jumping on it.
Though I have been with these ladies for only quite a short time, it doesn’t mean that the experience was empty and meaningless. I cherished the memories I’ve had with them because they have helped me to grow up as a person. I would like to apologize for Ladies X, Y & Z. I’m sorry for branding you with those initials. It’s just that I completely forgot your names and it is all mixed up in my head right now… my bad.
"Sometimes you have to be cruel in order for others to learn their mistakes."
The Other Man
Boys will always be boys – a cliché that has always been useful and convenient to use to justify a man’s incoherent act. I am also guilty of using this phrase for what happened to me in this chapter. For the full details about Lady TP, please click on this link: (http://iamdgreat780.blogspot.com/).
I didn’t have a clue at first that she was married while we were fooling around. She said that she was a single mom and available. I found out the truth some time in October 2010 and realized that I was actually the other man. After learning the truth about her deceit, lies and scheme, I broke up with her. Just because I’m kind, generous, and she taught that I was gullible doesn’t give her the right to treat me that way. I don’t have any compassion to the girl I dumped. She rightfully deserved it.
Looking back with my experience with this particular woman, I couldn’t figure out how she was able to do it right under her husband’s nose. And here’s the catch: a few weeks after I broke up with her, she managed to find another promiscuous affair. And that didn’t end there; she had another someone just recently and probably she had another somebody when we were still together. I would guess that she was just using not only me but the other men as well for her own superficial pleasures. I don’t know about her husband and I am not in the position to give comment about him.
But I do felt like I needed to do something. And what better way to do it than to tell the truth. I shared my story with family and friends, and perhaps to almost everyone she knew; and that includes her husband and his family and friends as well (thanks to facebook!). And boy, I’m glad I did! I didn’t get any drama out of the incident but I was applauded with love, support and laughter. For me, it was not enough that she’s just sorry to all the people she had messed up with. I want her to learn a lesson and learn it very well.
Sometimes you have to be cruel in order for others to learn their mistakes. She probably learned her lesson by now. But if not, her luck rests on her husband’s grace any longer. I believe in the universal order of all things and the law of cause and effect. What goes around really comes back around. I don’t have any regrets for what I did to her and I’m very pleased to say that I was her karma.
In Her Eyes
When love let itself in inside our hearts, it never gets out. It is there to stay and teaches us how to love again. We could never dictate love to come on a specific time and place. That is one mystery in life that we are blessed to experience but unlikely appreciated. How do we really know that a person we met is the right one for us? To be honest, I don’t have any slightest idea. I also don’t want to give an answer that may not be applicable to all of us.
I did some volunteer work during 2004 national elections when I met Lady S. I was already in Cebu for over a year now. She was still in college and also a volunteer that time. I was attracted to her but I didn’t have the courage to approach and ask her name and number. While doing our volunteer work, I requested my colleague to have her computer broke down on purpose so that she would call our team for assistance. It was silly, classic and it worked. She called our team for troubleshooting and I immediately came to the rescue. From that day on, I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
I asked her out to a friendly date so we could get to know each other well and she gladly accepted my invitation. We were having a great time with our conversations over dinner when I noticed her eyes. It was indescribable, deep and full of emotions. It was her eyes that made me speechless and melt away easily. It was also the honesty of her eyes that have made me doubt about my actions. I was doubtful and hesitant to pursue my intention of courting her because at first I was unsure that I might not be able to give her my all. In addition, I was pre occupied with work and traveled a lot. And also during that time, I also lost my mobile phone… my only means of communication with her. So I surrendered everything to serendipity and chance.
Fate smiled upon me and brought me back to her after several months. Maybe I had done something good because destiny had paved our roads to cross again. I was in Manila taking care of my papers for a job abroad. She on the other hand, already graduated in college and was working in Manila and so we met again. It was the same eyes that greeted me and reawakened my feelings. Amazingly, her eyes could still do wonders and could still make me speechless. I enjoyed every moment and made the most of my time being with her. And without hesitation, I told her everything about how I felt.
I knew from that moment on that she is the one; the one person that is destined to be carved forever in my heart and soul. Her eyes gave me the answers to all my doubts and questions. It was in her eyes that I was able to see my dreams and found a place that I belonged forever. It was in her eyes that I had found myself reborn and the reasons why I existed in this world. And it was in her eyes that I had found love again.
We were together for almost three years and even we were far away, we knew that distance was not an obstacle to build our future together. But unfortunately and due to my foolishness, I had hurt her badly. A regretful affair happened and I’m the one to blame. I thought that I would be unforgivable for what I did. I thought that she would never ever want to see or talk to me again. I was afraid that she would start a new life without me. If that was the case, I want her to be happy because it will also make me happy even if she finds happiness in the arms of somebody else. But if I know that I can still give that happiness back, I will still fight for it. Despite all the heartaches and pain that I’ve caused her, she was still able to forgive me.
I truly regret hurting her and wished that if only I could turn back the time, I will undo everything. But a good friend of mine once told me: “do not regret on things you have done, just learn from it”. I was thankful in a way for what happened. Because of that, I wouldn’t be able to see her true worth and realize how much I truly love her. I will leave this chapter without a closure but a fresh start for both of us. I am hoping and praying that one day love will lead the way and will bring me back in her eyes once again.
Epilogue
This is the hardest part because I haven’t thought of an ending to my tale. My journey isn’t over and I am still walking in my winding road, pausing over at cross roads and deciding on which track to travel on next. Most probably I would meet new set of people and new bunch of ladies. Whatever roads may lead me, my decisions in life and in women would always be the ones that mattered most to my heart.
Let me quote something from the wise king of KSA about women. He said during an interview with Barbara Walters: “Women are not taken for granted in my country. My sisters are women; my wife is a woman; my daughter is a woman; and I am born of a woman.”
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